Sibyl Carlyle Moldbug, 3/18/08
After thirty-six hours on the table,
Much drama and suffering, all in
Retrospect ridiculous and trivial,
You were pulled backward into light
By a resident with a pair of pliers.
"Christ," your mother was thinking,
"My daughter is about to be delivered
By Katie Holmes." Ms. Holmes, or
Whoever, did a bang-up job, not even
Bruising your head, let alone as I
Worried tearing it off. Apparently
You are made of something stretchy.
You have your father's hair, your
Mother's nose, and the devil's own
Black and sticky dung. I promise
You nothing: each hour will be yours.
Much drama and suffering, all in
Retrospect ridiculous and trivial,
You were pulled backward into light
By a resident with a pair of pliers.
"Christ," your mother was thinking,
"My daughter is about to be delivered
By Katie Holmes." Ms. Holmes, or
Whoever, did a bang-up job, not even
Bruising your head, let alone as I
Worried tearing it off. Apparently
You are made of something stretchy.
You have your father's hair, your
Mother's nose, and the devil's own
Black and sticky dung. I promise
You nothing: each hour will be yours.
posted by Mencius Moldbug at
11:51 PM
49 Comments:
Congratulations.
congrats moldy.
Mazal Tov!
mnuez
(For another daughter-birth inspired poem see the introduction of Hecht's Bedevilled.)
fantastic! congratulations!
These times are precious. Enjoy them!
Congratulations and every good wish.
gg
Congratulations to all involved!
Enthusiastic Congratulations!
Your poem reminded me of a line from a book of Barthelme's describing a similar situation:
The instrument looked to Simon, who knew something of the weight and force of tools, capable of shattering the baby's head in an instant. After all these years, he thought, that's the best they can do?
(I'd ordinarily hesitate to recall such a startling image here but you mentioned "pliers" and "dung.")
Best to the Mrs.
: )
Congratulations
Happy birthday Sibyl!
Dear New Parent,
Not to rain on your parade, but by producing a child, you're only adding to the already dire global warming crisis. As you may know, the average American produces a carbon footprint of approximately 10 tons per year. Assuming an average lifespan of 75 years, one can easily calculate. . . oh, WTF . . congratulations.
Why not have three or four while your at it?
When I saw the date after the name I immediately thought of those birth-death things and assumed she had died during childbirth. Relieved to hear that is not the case.
Speaking of new life, two anti-natalist blogs to check out are Antinatalism - The Greatest Taboo and Don't Have Children.
MM,
There's probably little danger that your daughter will turn out to be ordinary; nonetheless, . . .
Born Yesterday
Tightly-folded bud,
I have wished you something
None of the others would:
Not the usual stuff
About being beautiful,
Or running off a spring
Of innocence and love -
They will all wish you that,
And should it prove possible,
Well, you’re a lucky girl.
But if it shouldn’t, then
May you be ordinary;
Have, like other women,
An average of talents:
Not ugly, not good-looking,
Nothing uncustomary
To pull you off your balance,
That, unworkable itself,
Stops all the rest from working.
In fact, may you be dull -
If that is what a skilled,
Vigilant, flexible,
Unemphasised, enthralled
Catching of happiness is called.
--Philip Larkin
Congratulations, MM!
I only hope this doesn't prevent you from further long, thoughtful posts here. Hate to say it, but I have found it tough to have any profound thoughts since my son was born a year ago.
Congratulations on your dung-filled beauty! And thirty-six hours-- my sympathy to Mrs. Moldbug!
Congratulations on the birth and your embarkation on a grand adventure. Kudos to Mrs. Moldbug, and the little poop machine named Sibyl.
Of course, now that you have entered the realm of the breeders, we can look forward to an even more reactionary tilt to Moldbugian thought.
As much as I would like you to hurry back to blogging, in all honesty this time of postpartum insanity is both precious and fleeting, so please enjoy every moment of it.
Start saving now for that Harvard tuition!
The stubbornness and disrespect is gonna take a hit after this one, my brother.
I have six, and I promise, a big slug of humility is headed your way.
Hope it doesn't ruin the blog.
Welcome to our world, little one.
Best wishes and congrats. . .
harvard is free now for us middle-class types. (soak those woolly-headed universalists for all you can get!)
Major congrats, dude! Mazal tov, ve le'chaim shelach!
Congratulations. Get some sleep while you can.
Congratulations. I know from experience that having kids tends to move you to the right, but in your case, I can't even imagine...
On a purely literary note, compliments to MM on "the devil's own/Black and sticky dung," surely not just a reference to poopy diapers, but also an allusion to the protagonist of Sartor Resartus (Herr Teufelsdroekh) - whose author Thomas Carlyle is commemorated in young Sibyl's middle name.
Fantastici!
All the best from one cranky young pop to another.
Anti-natalists be damned!
Peace,
GMP
p.s. I am also glad to see that "otherwise occupied" didn't mean "off to a re-education camp" ;)
Congratulations to the Moldbugs old and new.
Only a Sibyl can be born a day ahead of herself! Isn't this Tuesday?
Here is a poem called "The Sibyl" by Edward Williams. (Third one down) (http://stagepoetrycompany.typepad.com/stage_poetry_co/2007/05/index.html
Whoops, read the date wrong. I guess she does exist. Poem stands.
Congratulations
Let me add my congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congrats, dude!
- PA
Civilization just grew richer. Congratulations!
Congratulations, Mr. & Mrs. Moldbug!
Congratulations!
On a purely literary note, I have two questions.
1. Why the Katie Holmes reference?
2. Isn't babies' poo very pale in color? The black throws me off a bit.
Thanks!
- PA
Anon, see my comment on Teufelsdroekh, above.
The German word, which Carlyle spells eccentrically, refers to asafœtida, a malodorous gum-resin obtained from the root of Ferula fœtida, formerly used in medicine.
The black, sticky stuff is (I'm assuming) meconium.
From some randomly-googled baby site:
"Meconium: This is the black, sticky, almost tar like bowel movements your child takes in his first few days after birth. Your child swallowed a lot of amniotic fluid while in utero, the result is meconium. It can be difficult to wipe off your baby's bottom due to its sticky consistency but don't worry in a couple of days you'll be on to the next kind of poop."
That helps, thanks. As far as Katie Holmes, I'll just take it to be purely idiosyncratic to the actual event.
- PA
I took "Katie Holmes" to be a reference to extreme youth.
Congrats from Germany !
Your nights (and your posts) shall be shorter & your life more fulfilled!!
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希望大家都會非常非常幸福~「朵朵小語‧優美的眷戀在這個世界上，最重要的一件事，就是好好愛自己。好好愛自己，你的眼睛才能看見天空的美麗，耳朵才能聽見山水的清音。好好愛自己，你才能體會所有美好的東西，所有的文字與音符才能像清泉一樣注入你的心靈。好好愛自己，你才有愛人的能力，也才有讓別人愛上你的魅力。而愛自己的第一步，就是切斷讓自己覺得黏膩的過去，以無沾無滯的輕快心情，大步走向前去。愛自己的第二步，則是隨時保持孩子般的好奇，願意接受未知的指引；也隨時可以拋卻不再需要的行囊，一路雲淡風輕。親愛的，你是天地之間獨一無二的旅人，在陽光與月光的交替之中瀟灑獨行。
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